I would say today has been one of highs and lows, but it’s more just been varying degrees of insanity. The highlight of my day was taking the kids to school this morning, when we discovered the middle child had a friend with the same name as the youngest child. I made a joke that there were 2 of her and she says, in an evil voice “it’s your worst nightmare!”. She has had a cold, I think it’s gone to her brain. After that it was just a downhill roll. My brain went on auto-pilot and any actual thought or effort was so taxing. The whole day was a blur. I’m a complete control freak, so I know I looked fine on the outside, but I had no idea what was going on. I was just trying to get through the next thing to do. Then after work, I had a slight meltdown about dinner and a larger meltdown when I realized my husbands trip would stretch through the weekend. Having the kids to myself for a day or 2 is awkward, then it’s going to be a long silent weekend with my dog. How romantic. Some days this gig is completely overwhelming and I feel like I suck at it. Some days it feels like the wrong person got hired for this job. I’m not sure if this is a dilemma all stepmoms have, but I know we all have good and bad days. There are days where you are magically on top of it all and you are getting along so well with the kids, it seems like it was always that way. Then there are the days where they question everything you say, and remind you about things that you forgot but their mom wouldn’t have, or just plain old drive you nuts, and you wanna hang them by their toes from the ceiling fan and turn it on. Today wasn’t a butting heads with the kids day, but when the kids are here, it’s tiring and hard to have time with my husband. Sometimes it’s the little things you look forward to after spending a few weeks feeling like you were pulled through a knot. Sometimes you don’t get that either.