I have always maintained that the definition of insanity is to continually repeat the same action while expecting a different outcome, but the last 24 hours may have proven me wrong. Yesterday, the youngest child’s room looked like I fed booze to a badger and a raccoon and trapped them in her room for 2 days. Being that this is an ongoing problem, my husband asked her what SHE thought he should do. She facepalmed and said “this is a lot of pressure to put on a kid, dad”. I kept my head down so she wouldn’t see me laughing.
This morning, while getting ready for work, I had horrible stomach cramps. I doubled over on the counter and groaned “oooh, I’m gonna have a baby!” The kids all stopped and looked horrified. The oldest giggles and says “this is a bad way to tell us”. For the record, there is no baby.
At work I caught myself USING MY HANDS while talking TO MYSELF. I guess I didn’t get the point. Then I spent the rest of the day fighting off a viscous dress wedgie.
At home again, after arguing with the youngest child how best to clean the most disgusting grill in existence (she may only be 10, but she knows everything, just ask her, or don’t, she knows more when you don’t) she tells me her eye is bothering her. I keep catching her putting her dirty hands in there, and she says “I need an eyepatch”. I said “you need a facepatch”. She says “I have an idea!” then runs inside. Then this happens. Notice she’s still on the ripstick. It’s an Ace bandage.
At least being a stepmom is funny some days. You have to just go with it, don’t care if things go wrong and laugh when they go nuts. Because they will.