Today is my husband’s birthday. Now I talk a lot on this blog about being a stepmom because it takes a lot of effort and has taken over my life. But that should only stand as a testament to how wonderful my husband is. I knew going into this that he was freshly separated and had 3 kids. I knew very early on that this would be a lot of work and a long process. A lot of people told me not to get involved, and I did anyway. Not only did I decide I would date him, but I had made up my mind I was in this for the long haul no matter what happened. I was going to tough it all out and I wasn’t going anywhere.
Being that I was seriously cynical about dating and completely untrusting of just about anyone, think of how wonderful a man like that has to be. He listens when I talk, not just hears what I say but fully listens and is present with his entire being. He is gentle with people’s emotions and really with thier entire view of themselves and the world. He is never selfish, I had to lecture him for about a year before he started surprising me and just buying things for himself (I mean spending like $10). I knew he would take good care of me, and I don’t mean financially. I never needed that. I needed (like most women do) someone who would be compassionate with me and my luggage. Someone who would help me grow and give me time to heal. Someone who would listen and hear me, not just my words but my feelings.
He has become sort of the standard of what to look for in a man. I am always telling the kids “there are plenty of guys out there, they care a lot about themselves. You don’t want that, you need someone like your dad.” He was the standard idea his sister had when finding a husband. An honest, loving man who puts family first.
I don’t say this to make women jealous or to flaunt in the faces of people the wonderful thing I have. I say this because he has traits that every man should have. People admire and look up to him, and he never sees it. He puts family first in everything he does, but that comes after God. And that is just how it should be.