Stepmemo

A note to stepmoms everywhere

Why Talk Isn’t Cheap, and Neither Is Chocolate

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Today we got the internet back up, and we watched some stuff on Netflix. But to tell you the truth, we didn’t really watch much of it, we talked through everything. My husband finds this a little annoying sometimes, but there’s something important about this.

First, it shows the kids that no matter what, I’m never too busy to have a conversation with them or to answer their questions. We will interrupt any movie or tv show in the world to talk about whatever is on their mind. I think that’s part of why they are always so excited to tell me stuff. Even when I’m stupid tired and beat to poop, can’t see straight or give much of an answer, I will always listen and give some sort of response to what they have to say.

That is all little people want in this world; to be heard, to be validated, to be understood. Now the little one, she’s like a Salvador Dali or Van Gogh, she is incredibly smart and unbelievably creative, but because of that, sometimes she says things that are mildly baffling and difficult to respond to. Sometimes, all I can do is give a wide-eyed “okay” and encourage her to keep going. But she doesn’t need much input from me, she’s already got a whole galaxy of her own in there. She just needs me to hear her when it comes out. She needs me to see what she creates.

That’s not to say they don’t need structure or rules, but they do need some time each day to be themselves, and to show you who they are. They still have responsibilities, but they can always share their world with me, and they see that in the little things I do. I can’t stress how much the little things mean to the little people. They notice when you are really paying attention, and they see what your priorities are, and that affects them, remember that.

But on the plus side, they had come home from an exciting day of shopping at several stores. They all showed me their wares and were enjoying their things on the couch. The middle child had bought a chocolate bar with cake in it (seriously, who comes up with such awesomeness!) and freely offered me some. I didn’t ask, she just said “I’m going to eat this, hey Jessie, do you want a piece?”

I thought it was amazing for someone who used to try to hurt my feelings on purpose to openly and specifically offer me something special they had. She didn’t understand when I was so impressed by her offer. Progress is wonderful.

 

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Author: Jessie Henry

Reinventing my life and enjoying my adventure. Living life as full as I like with no apologies, loving all of it.

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