A note to stepmoms everywhere

The Heavy Side of Balancing



This job is a balancing act, and the biggest problem with that is the whole “balancing” part. You struggle and adjust, do a status check, a perimeter check and a general inventory, make all applicable adjustments and start again.

If the house is well cared for, and the kids are doing great, I’m sore, exhausted and haven’t had a real conversation with my husband in like 3 weeks. If I’m doing well (eyebrows not growing out of control like forgotten hedges, rested up, not breaking out in acne) and my husband and I are doing great, the house is a mess and the kids are crabby.

I’m constantly questioning myself. Constantly doubting. Everyone will tell me “but you do so great with the kids”. Well that is fantastic, and I work hard at it so it is appreciated, but that doesn’t help at work, keep the house clean, take care of the dog or keep my marriage afloat. I mean aside from the obvious tie to my marriage.

Right now, the house has been pretty clean and the kids are happy. But my skin is a mess and I’m wound so tight that I’ve just come to assume I won’t sleep regardless of how tired I am. Time with my husband is precious and fleeing. The summer bedtime schedule is very liberal and my brain has usually shut off by the time they go to bed.

I love having good days, and I always hold hope that they are more than just good days. I always hope that they are a newfound sense of balance and a new standard in our lifestyle. And I always do my best to chalk bad days up to just having a bad day.

But sometimes when your life is tied up between two houses, it seems like no one can balance all that weight, and you begin to wonder if you are cut out for the job.

I guess in the meantime I’ll take another inventory.


Author: Jessie Henry

Reinventing my life and enjoying my adventure. Living life as full as I like with no apologies, loving all of it.

9 thoughts on “The Heavy Side of Balancing

  1. Hang in there. It’s hard, I know.. I can sympathize and sometimes it feels as if you’ll never regain balance or your footing but you will!!!!


  2. Thank you! I hope so. Always seem to be teetering one way or the other and sometimes I stick out my lip and pout a little. But I will try again tomorrow. 😉


  3. My friend.. I am the QUEEN of pouting!!! I hear you!! Sometimes it’s the most thankless job on the planet., in addition to your “regular” job… Try to take care of you.. Even if it’s just 5 minutes of quiet alone time (impossible to get I know!)


  4. Is it still quiet alone time if I’m talking to myself? I really try, this blog is helping a LOT!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lol!!! Yes, it certainly counts if you are talking to yourself!!! Talking to oneself is a sign of intelligence!!! Extreme intelligence so talk away!!! 😂 and, I couldn’t agree more!! This blog is a lifesaver!!! Love writing!! And I love reading yours!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks! Your blog makes me lol every time! You’re my best blog buddy!


  7. Awwww!! And you are MINE!! :)) I’m so glad to make you laugh!!! I try!!


  8. Thank you for writing this blog. My husband never worked so hard at being a stepparent as you do (he was great at paying household bills, but he was a horrible communicator, he forgave poorly, and he had a really quick temper over the smallest of things…so good for you for doing what is right both by the children and for your marriage!
    I love your blog! Keep writing! 🙂


  9. Thank you so much for your encouragement! And thank you for reading. It’s a hard job, it’s work just to figure out what you’re supposed to do as a stepparent and there is no manual.


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