I really think this is happening today! I suppose after my unpleasant ranting yesterday, I must have gotten all the negative garbage out of my system. I’ve always said that venting is healthy, helps get all that gross stuff out. That stuff acts like an anchor, holds you back, keeps you down.
But today, I’m doing like mommy and family stuff! I feel like I’m getting the birthday party that is happening this weekend nailed together. Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little last second. But I wasn’t prepared to wrap my head around it any earlier, there were other things dancing around in my head and I had to wrangle those first.
When I was a kid, we didn’t celebrate things. I figured it was normal. There were no birthdays, holidays, gifts, whatever. When my parents were divorced, we slowly began incorporating holidays and birthdays into our lives, and it was super wierd. None of it made any sense. There was chocolate and rabbits for Easter, a day that was about Jesus defeating death. Then there was a giant lit tree, and a billion lights, more chocolate and gifts for the day Jesus was born. Then on the day you were born, people fed you cake, gave you stuff and stared at you while you opened it all.
It was a lot to take in. I didn’t really like any of it. I like chocolate and gifts, who doesn’t. But large gatherings of family meant social interactions I didn’t understand and had a hard time with. “You didn’t say hello to me, that’s rude”. It was always loud, and I was forced to talk to people I had nothing to say to. It was uncomfortable.
I’ve done things to make holidays make more sense, but I always feel like when it comes to birthdays, I fall short. I miss the mark for the kids. You see other parties that are themed and the moms have pulled out thier best “Martha Stewart” to create the perfect ambiance and whatever. It’s intimidating. Entertaining is an art, and I’m not sure I have it down. I feel like if everyone got fed and had a few laughs and no one went to the hospital, it was a success.
This year, it’s not themed and it won’t be huge, but I think it will be something pretty nice. The kids have things planned, and they are inviting some friends, and I have more details covered than usual. I feel pretty confident about this thing. I have no backup planned if it rains, and I don’t really care. We will just wing it.
But I really think this will work. And coming from someone who totally doesn’t get birthdays, and definitely has a hard time caring about them, that’s pretty big! I think the kids will have a good time, and who could ask for more than that?