Stepmemo

A note to stepmoms everywhere

A Little Light on a Dark and Irritating Day

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Apparently someone told the world that I’m an octopus. I’ve had people stop by my office today and even though I’m clearly in the middle of about 75 things, they ask “did you get to this yet? How about this?”  200 envelopes are sitting on my desk and I hear “Did you finish my mailer yet?” The look on my face was a cross between “are you nuts?” and “you can’t be serious”. I thought that the appearance of 200 envelopes was rather self-explanitory, but I appear to be wrong. Hmm.

When I got home from work yesterday, sweaty and tired and sick, I barely got in the door and was already asked if we could go somewhere. Ugh. After a slight fiasco, it turned into a meltdown and the final answer was “I can’t go anywhere today, I just can’t handle it. I can barely breathe.” Then there was moody crankiness. What are you going to do when you live with girls new to their hormones. I didn’t hold it against them. Their dad left for a trip and then it was single mom time. I’m not super fantastic at single mom time, it’s pretty tiring and I’m usually tired from just stepmom time.

When everyone came in from playing outside, we all started our girl talk. We were joking and they were asking questions about problems and telling me things about themselves and thier lives. Then the two older girls told the youngest that she switched personalities, sometimes she would act like the oldest child and sometimes she would act like the middle child.  She said “Well, I’m not really anybody. I don’t know who to be.” What!?!?!?! Not happening. Then my inner pep-rally coach came out. In moments like these I get loud and excited and use my hands, and it’s almost like I’m giving a sermon or a speech.

I said “What do you mean! No way! You guys are all very much your own people.” They looked confused and said “how?”  (I will be substituting names for place here) “Oldest child has a big heart. She always puts everyone else first and is very concerned about them. She notices when they are having a bad day or need help and she does what she can to help them right away. Middle child can make money off of anything. She’s going to me a millionare and own a business one day, she’s smart and she’s good at everthing she tries, even the first time. She can figure anything out. Then YOU! (looking at youngest child) Do you know what’s great about you?!” she shakes her head, smiling and all balled up in anticipation “You have the biggest imagination ever. You think of things that don’t even occur to anyone else all the time. And the best part is, it never occurs to you that other people don’t think that way. You do your own thing in your way and don’t worry that other people might not see it or think what you’re thinking. You will do things that no one even imagined you could do when you grow up.”

They were beaming. The middle child even blushed, and I seriously thought that was impossible.

There’s not always a time or place to tell people what you think of them in a positive way, but people need to hear it. Life goes too fast, and if you don’t tell them how you feel or that you look up to them, they may never know. They might really need to hear it. Find a spot in time and shine a light on part of a person they thought no one saw.

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Author: Jessie Henry

Reinventing my life and enjoying my adventure. Living life as full as I like with no apologies, loving all of it.

One thought on “A Little Light on a Dark and Irritating Day

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