Stepmemo

A note to stepmoms everywhere

A Thought on Balancing

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Fundraising, another activity of ours

Fundraising, another activity of ours

I’ve done it. I’ve done the very thing I always tell everyone else not to do. I’ve spent weeks putting everyone else first and totally left myself in the dust. This is how women lose who they are. I hear it all the time from people I know and from women I see on tv. “I’ve spent so much time and energy taking care of everyone else, I forgot about me. I lost myself, I forgot who I was”.

Do you know about this? Have you felt this “who am I?” or “when was the last time I could do something for myself?”. I got a haircut last week, and that was nice, but I crammed it in between other things I needed to do. It wasn’t the same. I didn’t really get to enjoy it. The stylist insisted I talk to her, and I answered a phone call on the way in, and made one on the way out and ran home and did stuff.

My relationship with my husband is just off floating in space somewhere. The only time we spend together we are not alone together. We haven’t been on a date since about June. It’s been crazy, we’ve been busy. We did get to go fishing last Saturday, that was so nice. It was just us and the quiet and the lake, the weather was beautiful. Then the rest of the weekend was hijacked, just like the whole summer has been.

I’ve had a little break in the action since we haven’t had the kids, and it’s given me time to reflect and evaluate everything that’s going on. I have to really question how the soccer moms and cheer moms do it. Do they lose themselves? How do they keep a relationship with their husbands? It seems like when the kids are involved in something, you spend all of your time cooking, cleaning and driving. I can’t see how it’s done. Maybe if you have figured out a balance, you can tell me your secret.

We have just renewed our gym membership. Now in the past, for me, the gym was a nightmare. It meant rushing home, cooking dinner so we could eat as soon as my husband got home, then rounding up kids, driving to the gym, working out, rounding up the kids again, then getting everyone home without forgetting something in the locker room (that last part is tricky). I gained weight. I did not lose anything. When we STOPPED going to the gym, I dropped weight, and I’m pretty sure that’s because my stress was cut in half. But this time around, I am going to use it as “me” time. When I was a single gal, gym was “me” time, and I would like that again.

So I have carved out a small space for me in the week. I still need to secure a little more time with my husband. I miss that guy. I just don’t know how it’s done, and if you’re a mom who has kids in activities, maybe you can tell me how you do it, how you get your kid to all the places they need to be and still have time for yourself and your marraige. Any advice is welcome.

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Author: Jessie Henry

Reinventing my life and enjoying my adventure. Living life as full as I like with no apologies, loving all of it.

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