A note to stepmoms everywhere

Funk in the Crankypants

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cranky camo

Yes, exactly like this. With less camo.

Today the supercrankypantsness has resumed. Make a song out of that, Mary Poppins! Everything that would normally be slightly inconveniencing is sending me into a mild rage today. I was in the middle of about 10 things today, (it’s the Monday hurricane multiplied by the lack of an actual Monday) and the phone rang (as always). The woman on the other end begins rattling off things as though I am surely not only doing absolutely nothing, but I was eagerly awaiting her call with all documents handy and correct software programs open and waiting.

“Did you see this on this page?”

“uuuhh, what? What page?”

“oh, and those people are divorced, correct your records”

“wait, who?”

She kept going at an erratic pace while munching on a salad. Normally, I would play it off and be super polite, but today I threw a silent, full body tantrum while she went on. I mean evil face, arms flailing, hands gripped into the strangulation pose. Then, I pulled a muscle. Because I’m an idiot. But in my defense, she was being really irritating.

I did what I could to keep buckled down at work, and I actually felt like I got a lot done. I’m sure something about that will change by tomorrow, but that could just be my serious case of pissypants that I can’t seem to shake.

I had a fun phone call with one of my most favorite people on the planet. We never really talk anymore because she lives like 20 years away (massive over exaggeration here) a full time job and 2 kids. But that was super fantastical. It made my day a little better.

I get home and begin cleaning. I have this grand delusion that I can get ahead on housework, since my hubby and kids are all gone. Whatever. It was a first-day-of-school-cleanathon!!! I couldn’t keep the house clean to save my life all summer. When you can only freelance at cleaning and have full time messmakers, you can’t win. They sort of picked up after themselves early on in the summer, but by the end of summer, everything goes out the window.

More rage ensues. I go to take out the garbage, bag rips because it’s so overstuffed, my neighbors will think I’m throwing away the kids. Can’t get the bag out, total fit. Then I put the garbage in the garage. Go to close the door and it reopens again, so I fight with the door for like 10 minutes.

But after all of that irritation, I got some serious cleaning done, and it’s pretty fantastic. It’s almost like I have a real house or something.

It’s just too bad that was only one floor. I’m hoping tomorrow is at least less completely aggravating. I’m ready to put some new pants on, these cranky ones are getting a little funky.


Author: Jessie Henry

Reinventing my life and enjoying my adventure. Living life as full as I like with no apologies, loving all of it.

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