Stepmemo

A note to stepmoms everywhere

Gettin My “Mom” On! It was a little uncomfortable.

3 Comments

courtesy not-your-average-mom.com This was so my day yesterday. Chauffering, working, cooking and saving kids from the pitfalls of growing up.

Yesterday was a good time. You know, like mildly insane kind of good time. Work was one big horrible blur of upset people, unanswered questions, ringing phones and an entire day of printing.

So I leave that and put on my mommy hat. Go do my usual child chauffeuring, get everyone home. I’m cooking dinner, and then the oldest brings our first pile of high-school-mess into the kitchen. I was hoping it would be a little longer till we had these conversations, but what are you gonna do? It’s high school and she’s a good kid. There’s going to be a lot more where this came from.

So the topic of the day was drugs. Something she is completely unfamiliar with. So she asks “the kids at the lunch table were talking about acid. What is that?”

Luckily for me (in a way) I was a hot mess from the ages of 12-26. I have plenty of true nightmare stories about all kinds of things. So we talk. I tell her about what it does, how it works, how it affects people, and horrible stories I have of people freaking out on it.

Her mouth hangs open in horror. “Who would want to do that?!?”

Mission accomplished.

We talked a lot about the kinds of people there are in high school, the kinds of trouble they can get you into, and the horrible situations you can end up in. Like the scariest car ride of your life. If you’ve had that ride, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t know, congratulations.

So, I hope she knows what to look out for, what to stay away from, and when to call us to pick her up. She can have open conversation with us, and still (even though she’s a freshman) feels comfortable talking to us about anything she’s not sure of. It’s only the first year for the first kid, but so far we are handling the scary things.

I went to bed just wrung out, and totally feeling like a mom. And wondering how that happened. It’s odd to feel such mommyness when you don’t have your own kids.

It’s weird to have such a big part of handing the directions through the ugliest parts of life off to another person. But I guess since I’ve been down most of those roads, I definitely know where not to go. And they are not scared to ask for a map.

What else can you really ask for?

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Author: Jessie Henry

Reinventing my life and enjoying my adventure. Living life as full as I like with no apologies, loving all of it.

3 thoughts on “Gettin My “Mom” On! It was a little uncomfortable.

  1. Excellent step-mothering! Or to be honest – mothering. Leave out the “step” – if you’re the one in their everyday lives, answering questions, listening to their fears, celebrations, etc. – you ARE their mother. Lots of people have more than one. 😀

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  2. Thank you, that is so sweet I got a little pouty! I give them all I can, I always have. It’s a difficult identity to work out, and my hangups with mommyness come from my own experiences growing up. It’s hard to feel okay about taking a mom role when they have one already. Thank you for the encouragement!

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  3. I’m both biological and step, plus I had a parade of step dads. It’s definitely a balancing act!

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