I’m gonna start by just being painfully honest here; I am seriously lacking friends. I try to make friends, I try to be open and sincere, have meaningful conversations with people. It just doesn’t work, and there’s always someone that really just can’t stand me. I can almost NEVER figure out what I’m doing wrong to that person, I will have the same sort of conversations that I hear them having with other people. I will tell them the same sort of things they tell me. Yet something will seem different about me to that person, and I will drive them nuts.
Then one thing all of these people who can’t stand me have in common is they are all headstrong women. They are usually managers, or have an education that empowers them, and they love that fact. Even if they don’t work with me, they hate me. I will never understand it, and I can never fix it. They always find something new to dislike about me, no matter how irrational it is to everyone else involved.
So when I started working in a church, I thought it would be like a church. People were friendly, they went out to lunch together. They hung out and knew everything about each other. They would tell each other all kinds of very personal things. And even talk about things you would get in trouble for talking about in the corporate world.
So I got in trouble for talking to people at work about my problems. People tell me about their political views, racial views, medical issues, family history, entire list of medical and personal problems. I’ve had someone sit at my desk and cry because they were afraid they were going to hell.
But I can’t talk.
So I won’t.
I guess that’s what this blog is for.
On a brighter note, I had training for my second job yesterday, and I think that’s going to work out very well for me. I think I’m going to like it. And my stepdad who had a heart attack should be going home today, and my mom seems to be handling it well.
I’ve taken some hits lately, but I don’t care. I can’t do anything but keep going. I’m sure more dumb crap will happen, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Things will get better very soon. I will take whatever is thrown at me and keep going because I can see the light. I know where I’m going.
Okay, I feel a lot better now. Yay Wednesday!