Stepmemo

A note to stepmoms everywhere

Havin Fun and Flippin Out!

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courtesy giphy.com

courtesy giphy.com

I’ve been having a lot of fun with the kids lately. I thought about it yesterday, and I realized how much we laugh in my house. We’re always joking, cracking up, making faces at each other at the dinner table, making fun of each other and ourselves. We laugh a lot. I feel kind of bad for my husband because he’s the only guy here and a lot of times it’s like a sleepover.

The middle child had a banquet for cheerleading the other day. I sat in the audience, and while she was up on stage we waved at each other and made faces at each other. I sat next to the oldest, and we watched all the cheerleaders and football players get their names called to go up and get a little award. We narrated the thoughts of the little kids as they walked across the stage “Yeah, that’s my name. I got this. Too cool to high five you.” And we giggled in our seats. Then I pointed to some of the little football players and told the oldest “that’s how old you were when I moved in.”

“No! I wasn’t that small! Was I? Was I really that little?”

It’s been a long road, people. But I think all of those years of what felt like me beating my head against a wall paid off. It seems like they are at an age where no one is really sure how to treat them, or how they should feel about them, and I can sit down and have a normal conversation with them about all sorts of uncomfortable things.

Like boys.

The older 2 both like boys. When you don’t know anything about “liking” someone, and you’re drowning in hormones, it’s an anxious time. They may not pay attention to you for one day and it’s the longest day ever. It seems like they don’t care about you anymore and just won’t tell you why!!  Why won’t they say anything!! AAAHHHH!!!

So, since I understand that, it’s nice that I can talk to them and say “maybe he had a bad day. Maybe there was something else he was thinking about. Why don’t you wait till tomorrow, and then just say ‘hey, what’s up’ like it’s no big deal, and see how he acts.” I’m hoping to prevent crazy girlfriend syndrome, and also promote the idea that their whole life isn’t hung up on one guy. They are more than just what some guy thinks about them, they are an entire person in themselves.

Dating is scary, and they are young. It’s easy to want to just tell them they can’t date, but they go to public school. It’s hard to let them be part of the experience and not let them be part of the experience. But I’ve already decided they can ONLY be in public places with these boys. I don’t have a time limit on that, that’s the rule. They can’t go anywhere that they will not be seen by adults in some way. No bedrooms, no houses without adults, nothing like that. Always in public or in front of parents.

Maybe that’s mean. But I know about boys.

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Author: Jessie Henry

Reinventing my life and enjoying my adventure. Living life as full as I like with no apologies, loving all of it.

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