Stepmemo

A note to stepmoms everywhere

This Is What I Think Of Your So-Called Adulthood!! Happy Monday.

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Courtesy giphy.com. having a pre-Monday tantrum.

You know what? I just don’t want to deal with tomorrow. I want to hide in my bed and let it pass by and hope I go unnoticed by the universe. That’s not going to happen, I just don’t feel like having the Monday that’s about to be thrust upon me at great speed.
I’ve been thorny and unpleasant for the past few days. I enjoy giving to people a lot, I love to give everything I have. I’ve always been that way, I just love to give. My problem is I will give until I have nothing left, and recovery can take a while. I don’t always really have time for that.
I’m smack in the middle of desperately needing recovery and nearing the finish line of the biggest “giving” season there is.
There is some good news for me in all this. Last week I submitted a resume for a job I normally wouldn’t apply for on Monday night. Tuesday morning they called me to come in for an interview, which I had on Wednesday. Thursday they called me and told me they didn’t want to interview anyone else, they wanted me, and after a little negotiating, Friday I accepted the offer.
That is seriously the fastest I’ve ever been hired, and it’s a little unnerving. Why would they do that? Are they sure they want me? Do they do this all the time because there’s an insane turnover?
It’s like getting an awesome car for really cheap; you’re sure there’s something wrong with it and it’s only a matter of time before the thing blows up on the road.
But I’m just gonna go with it. I mean, I have too many health problems to work two jobs, and if another bill gets sent to collections, they’ll have to give me the shirt that makes me hug myself.
But taking something that seems like such an unsure bet is really testing my untrusting nature. I’m starting to feel a little better, now that it’s sunk in for a few days, but I still get twinges of “this is all wrong!!
So tomorrow, I have to go sit with the pastor and the assistant pastor and tell them I’m quitting.
I didn’t even like writing that.
I don’t know how this is all going to turn out, I just hope the steaming pile I end up in is shallower than the one I’m in now. I suppose that’s not too much to ask? (I know it sounds like I’m being a totally ungrateful pessimist, but I’m really just scared to do the wrong thing. I think these people I’m going to work with seem super cool).
And I don’t want to be a grown up and deal with all of this.

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Author: Jessie Henry

Reinventing my life and enjoying my adventure. Living life as full as I like with no apologies, loving all of it.

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