Stepmemo

A note to stepmoms everywhere

Nice Jessies Finish Last

2 Comments

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Courtesy giphy.com

This week was very busy, in spite of the fact that there was no children or husband for most of it. I had somewhere to be every day, and a few of this things got rescheduled to new days. So it was crazy, and a little unpleasant.
For the past few weeks my office has been being remodeled, and I’ve been shoved, with a few other renovation victims, into the conference room. It’s freaking cold in there. It’s right next to the receiving door, so each time it opens, a chill breeze flows through the ceiling tiles.
I’ve been freezing my butt off. I come home from having my very frozen to the office floor and just want a shower to warm up.
This week, since there were no children, I tried a new approach; I stole their shoes. They have some really cute boots that just sit around for the whole week they aren’t here, and hey, I paid for them. So I wore them, and it was great.
Then I had that sad little moment where I realized that they have nicer things than me. I’m always pushing to give them what they need and not spoil them, and here they are with warm boots and new clothes, while Jessie is suffering mild frostbite and is a resident at goodwill.
I need to do better. It’s not a good example I’m setting of “neglect yourself for your family”. I’ve known a lot of women, and not one of them have done this without ruining their family in the end. At some point they will need to put themselves first, and if they wait too long to do it, they may be so traumatized that they never find the balance. They never pick the family back up.
I don’t want to be that girl, and I’ve been avoiding becoming her long before I ever thought I would get married.
I’m going to set a budget and make a calendar of days I can go shopping for what things, and then I will be able to decide how much I can spend. I need to get back to having a normal influx of new things.
I take care of these people, sometimes to my detriment. I deserve nice things too.
Darn it.

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Author: Jessie Henry

Reinventing my life and enjoying my adventure. Living life as full as I like with no apologies, loving all of it.

2 thoughts on “Nice Jessies Finish Last

  1. Hi Jessie!

    I’ve been following your blog for a little while now and I really love your truthful and sweet commentary! I’m a childless Step-Mom and have two Step-Sons who are now 19 & 21. I’ve been with them since they were 10 & 13. The one thing I can say about looking back and what I’d do differently is I’D TAKE CARE OF MYSELF more often… I really love my boys. We had a great relationship as they grew up — but now there are loyalty bind issues I was not expecting at this point in our journey. I think my heartache wouldn’t be so bad if I would have done much more self-care… I’m not saying I wish I was selfish — I just wish I would have recognized a need for balance in their needs vs my needs. You have it right in this post.

    You’re great! I enjoy your blog! Thank you for sharing your life — I relate to it often 🙂

    Isabella from California 🙂

    >

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  2. Thank you! It’s something i struggle with so much. I know i should do it, i start taking better care of myself, but then i get all wrapped up in the girls and have to start all over again. I love them like my own. Thank you for reading!!

    Like

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