A note to stepmoms everywhere

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The Process of Making Real People

Oldest child’s 8th grade graduation was last night. She had a good time taking pics with her friends (me with the camera) and then going out for secret ice cream.  Nothing is quite as good as secret ice cream.  Her grandmother had come with and it was nice for her to get to spend some time with the oldest.  Grandma was a little emotional that she’s growing up so fast.  Everyone likes thier little people to stay babies.

I think it’s funny, I watch everyone else around them all, it’s like they are holding their hands in front of them, trying to stop them in time.  Trying to hold them from going forward.  They don’t like how fast they are growing up and they wish they could stay small for just a little bit longer.  I don’t see it that way at all, and I’ve been in this race for about 5 years.  I know what it’s like to have a little person you see all the time (I lived with my niece), someone who you gave the baby Heimlich and wiped their butts and stayed up in the middle of the night with them.  Then you go away for a little while and come back and it seems like you just turned your head and they are in kindergarten.  Everything they learn seems so impressive, no matter what it is. “you learned how to do that now?! You’re turning into a real person!”

Now they are changing and transforming into the people they will be. It’s so cool to watch them slowly morph into adults, figuring out what they like and who they are, where they want to go.  They want to know things, but big, important things.  They ask questions about things they see on the news, they want to know why laws are a certain way, why other cultures act a certain way.  They want to know why.  And you know what?  If we don’t know why, they will find out why, and that is wonderful.

So the oldest is going to high school, and I can’t wait to see who she will be as she matures and finds herself. It’s going to be complicated, high school always is, but this is the final contractions, the birthing pangs of her personality.  It will be a long labor, but it’s very important to stand vigilant these next few years; what comes out in the end is the beginnings of the woman she will be.