Stepmemo

A note to stepmoms everywhere


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One Woman Team (Just Don’t Check the Score!)

courtesy Giphy.com  Does anyone know what happened to this kid?

courtesy Giphy.com Does anyone know what happened to this kid?

Back to my old “single mom” routine. When my husband goes away, people will ask “you have the kids?” and I will always reply “I didn’t have them, but I got ’em!” Oh, I can’t stand myself, I’m so witty!

So the oldest child is generally exhausted, pale, cold and out of breath. I’ve been telling her for MONTHS she’s low on vitamin D and she’s either close to anemic or full blown anemic. I kept trying to keep her on vitamins, she didn’t seem to understand what a vitamin deficiency can do. When she insisted that she eat ice during all hours of consciousness, then I insisted that she needed a blood workup, but in the meantime I gave her multivitamins and iron tablets.

She finally got her blood test results. She says “they told me I’m anemic, I’m so glad I wasn’t just lazy!”

Facepalm.

Her boyfriend tells her “you should listen to Jessie, she seems to be right a lot”. Too bad the only kid that’s figured that out doesn’t live here.

That’s not entirely true. The middle child, the one who gave me the hardest time, the one who was just mean and hurtful to me, the one who cried every time I said anything at all to her for about 4 years, suddenly values my input. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand the logistics of that, but she listens to me, she talks to me, and she genuinely understands I have only her best interest at heart. I truly believed we would never be here!

Now, on to the youngest. I’m worried about her, and I’m worried in a way that I wasn’t worried about the middle child. The youngest doesn’t have the same support structure around her that the other 2 had, she also hasn’t received the same discipline, she’s been more spoiled, and is more entitled, rebellious and (sorry to say it) intelligent. People are always underestimating how smart she is. Sometimes she undermines her own intelligence with her sheer stubbornness, and that will also be to her detriment. I feel like if I can’t reach her when she hits that critical pre-teen realization, I’m not sure who will. I wanted her to get evaluated because she has crazy mood swings, and is constantly swinging between groups of friends, pitting them against each other. The youngest that comes through the door one day probably won’t be the same one the next day. You never know who you will be coming home to, a gremlin or interpretive dance queen. I thought if she were evaluated, we could find out if it’s hormones, if she’s just manipulative or if there’s something else that we need to be aware of during the stresses of her teen years.

But *one* of her parents doesn’t want people to think there’s something wrong with her, so they don’t want it done. The other parent doesn’t want to argue.

Part of me wants to throw my hands up and just tell them “good luck!!” I want them to see that their action or inaction led to problems.

And then I look at her, and I know it’s not fair.

I’ll be ready, because I can see what’s coming, and I’ve been where she’s going. I’ll know how to handle it, the depths of craziness and bad decisions. The highs of accomplishment and overcoming obstacles. I look around, at her options of who else is ready for the fastball pitch of her teenage years to come, and I’m the only one with the mitt.

Play ball!

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3 Comments

Seems Like a 24 Hour Facepalm

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Courtesy imarcade.com

I’ve think I may have hurt myself. I mean, I know I’m in pain, I’m just not sure of the source. It was kind of a seriously nutty day, and I do remember saying something like “I think that might hurt later” while running around today.
I had to lift heavy things, drag a dolly up a flight of stairs and run (sometimes literally) all over the place.
Who would have guessed I work in a church.
By the time I got home, I felt like I was being stabbed in the lower back. So I just took every herbal pain remedy (legal in all states and federally) that I have, and I hope something works. It has to. I have to work tomorrow.
I had inadvertently given myself a chemical burn around my eyes by overdosing on retinol ( who knew?). I was trying to reduce some of the redness, puffiness and lizard-leather look on my face when I figured I should turn on my paraffin wax bath. I was pretty excited. I’ve got a hangnail on almost every finger.
It seemed like it took forever to warm up, so I took a shower. When I got out, it seemed weird that there wasn’t much wax in there. It was because it was all seeping through the machine. There was a paraffin puddle on my counter.
I was disgusted. I waited like 4 months to turn on a busted machine. Junk.
At least it was only like $10, which I realize is part of the issue here.
I got my first check today from my second job. It wasn’t huge, but not bad for spending the night at a cranky, argumentative elderly person’s house. I used to do that for my grandma for free. I’ll take it!
At least there’s one thing that I think will turn out. We might be back on our feet by February. That’s much faster than I had hoped.
But Friday is like the new Tuesday. Lame and frustrating.